75 ANSWERS
TO YOUR BIGGEST PARENTING QUESTIONS
Legal Disclaimer
While every attempt has been made to ensure that the information
presented here is correct, the contents herein are a reflection of the views of
the author and are meant for educational and informational purposes only. All links are for information purposes only and are not warranted for content, accuracy
or any other implied or explicit purpose.
No tips in this document
should be considered medical advice. Seek the help of a professional
healthcare provider before
making any decisions
concerning your child’s health.
1. How should I deal with my child being a bully? It is important to realize that
nearly one in ten children are victimized by bullies and that bullying is a
very serious problem that should not be taken lightly. Start by determining how
your child is bullying others. The most common type of bullying is physical;
punching, pushing, kicking, etc. However, a child may be teasing other
children, calling them names or otherwise verbally assaulting them. Once you
have determined the type of bullying, you need to make it completely clear to
your child that the behavior is unacceptable. Then, you need to find out the
reason that your child has become a bully. Talking to your child may lead to
him or her giving you an explanation, however in many cases it is a good idea
to involve a professional counselor who is specially trained to work with
bullying children.
2.
What should I do when another
child bully’s mine? So many parents tell their
children to ignore bullies, and to look the other way rather than react.
However, it is never advisable to let bullying go, because it will never just “go away”. In some cases, it may not
even be apparent to you that your child is being bullied because bullied
children are often afraid to tell an adult what is happening. When you suspect
that bullying is an issue, talk to your child and school officials. Getting the
teachers and school administrators involved will make them aware of the problem
and you can work together to find a solution.
3.
How can I talk openly with my
child about death? The
first thing to remember is that death is a part of life, and that everyone will
experience loss and grief at some time. Generally, children who are of school
age will have an understanding that death is permanent, however pre-schoolers
and younger children may not quite get that their loved one will never come
back. You must always be honest and open when discussing death, and more than
anything else you need to make sure that your child understands that he or she
should and can talk to you or another trusted adult about their feelings at any time.
4.
How do I tell my child that
someone has died? The
most important rule of thumb is to BE HONEST. Never tell your child that their
loved one is sleeping – or they will expect him or her to wake up. And, never
tell your child that their loved one is “taking a trip or journey” because they will await a return. Unless you are honest and open,
there is most likely going to be a delay between your child learning about the
death and the onset of the grieving process.
5. What can I do to help my young child face the fear of death? It’s not uncommon for young children to be frightened by death because
they do not understand the process. When you are open and honest, it should
help to alleviate some of this fear. When explaining death, tell your child
that the deceased was so old that their body stopped working, or that they were
sick or injured and their body stopped working. Spare them the details, because
they won’t understand and the details can be frightening
to them. Once the reality sets in, it is very likely that your child will ask
you if you are going to die too. A good way to answer
is to explain that everyone will die eventually, but that most of the time
people do not die until they are very old.
6. How am I best to handle the death of my child’s pet? Chances
are that if you have had your pet for some time, your child is very attached to
the animal. Remember that just because your pet is not a person, it is still
very possible for your child to have developed a strong attachment. When the
pet dies, your child is just as likely to suffer from grief as they would be if
a loved one had died. Be open and honest with your child – regardless of his or
her age.
7.
How can I deal with a child
that is shorter than other kids his age? Children all grow at different rates and there
always seems to be that one child who is behind the others. If your child comes
from a family of normal height, it is most likely just a matter of delayed
growth so rest assured that he will catch up eventually. If there are existing
medical problems, or hormonal deficiencies, it is possible that your child will
remain short. You should talk to your pediatrician to have tests done if you
have concerns about your child’s size.
8. What should I do to stop my child’s lying? Young children do not know the
difference between right and wrong and fantasy and reality. So, why would you
expect them to know the difference between the truth and a lie? The best way to
handle lying is to start at a very young age, impressing upon your child that
the most important rule is that they always tell you the truth. You should
explain to your child the reasons why lying is a bad behavior – and never let
your child go unpunished when you catch them in a lie. It is important to be
consistent, and to let your child know that lying is NEVER acceptable. And be
sure to reinforce this by setting a good example. You can’t expect your child to listen to you if you’re caught in a lie!
9.
How do I know when it is ok to
leave my child alone? A general rule of thumb is to not leave your children home alone
until they are at least eleven years old. However, some children are perfectly
fine for a short time period at ten, and there are some teens that still
require constant supervision and cannot be left alone. The best way to
determine whether or not your child is ready to be left alone is to talk to
your child to see if he or she knows what to do when faced with different
situations. Does your child realize that he or she should never open the door
when you are not home? Would they know what to do in the case of an
emergency? If you are confident, begin
by leaving your child for only a few minutes while you run to the corner store,
or visit a neighbor. After several short periods, you can leave your child for
an hour or so to see how he or she does on their own. Only when you feel
confident should you leave your child alone for extended periods of time.
10. How can I help my child make new friends? Some parents become overly
concerned when their school aged child is more interested in spending time
alone than he is in spending time with his peers. Know that this is not
uncommon, and that many children simply prefer alone time to social groups
until they get close to the teen years. However, if you suspect that the reason
your child is having problems
making friends is because of a personality issue then
you should start addressing it as soon as possible. Figure out what the problem
is, whether it is because your child is bossy, hyper, cannot follow the rules
or if the problem is poor self control. One you determine if there is a
problem, you will be close to a solution.
11. How can I help my child develop self-esteem? Some children seem to be born
with a high self-esteem. Yet others seem to continuously struggle through
childhood with a very low self-esteem. Somewhere in between lies a balance, and
that is what most parents hope to help their children achieve. If you want your
child to have a healthy sense of self-esteem, you need to give him or her
positive feedback at every opportunity. You can do this by providing your child
with the chance to participate in activities where they are able to excel. Then
be sure to celebrate your child’s accomplishments, even the
small ones.
12. What can I do to make sure my child is eating healthy? It is easy to make sure that
your pre-schooler is eating healthy because you’re
responsible for all of their meals and snacks. The difficulty begins when your
child starts school, and you no longer have control over what they are eating
and when. If you start teaching your child how to make healthy food choices
from an early age, you are setting your child up for a lifetime of healthy
eating habits. Keep plenty of fruits and vegetables on hand for healthy
snacking, and restrict refined sugar as much as possible from day one.
13. How should I deal with a picky eater? Young children will frequently
become picky eaters, or go through phases where they want to eat only specific
types of foods. This is really nothing to be concerned about. These phases tend
to come and go and unless they last for an extended period of time there is
little chance of them becoming problematic. As long as your child is healthy
overall and is within a normal weight and height range, your pediatrician will
most likely tell you to just wait out the phase and not worry. Pay attention to
what your child is eating over the course of a week or month, and you are
likely to discover that she is eating a healthy diet in the long run.
14.
How do I decide whether to give
my child vitamins? A
good multi-vitamin is a smart choice for children and adults. Many of the
vitamins and minerals our bodies need are not easily absorbed from the foods we
eat. So supplementing is a good idea. There are many different varieties,
containing different combinations. You should opt for a children’s formula, and consider asking your pediatrician for a recommendation.
15.
How should I deal with a child
who will not eat three meals a day? Understanding and patience are your best allies in this
situation. As any pediatrician will tell you, it is very common for young
children to eat only one or two full meals over the course of a day. Instead of
eating the rest of their food in sit down meals, they often tend to “graze” on smaller portions throughout
the day. This may be because your child does not need as much food as you’re assuming. The average toddler only needs a few tablespoons at
each meal. To make sure your child is getting enough to eat, help her
to make healthy choices
throughout the day by keeping
on hand baskets of fresh fruits, cut up vegetables and other healthy snacks in
portioned containers.
16. How can I get my child to try new foods? Every parent dreams of having a
child who is willing to eat just about anything. However, most wake up to the
nightmare of children who are quite restrictive in the foods that they will eat
without an argument. The solution starts with the first foods that you feed
your infant, and continues throughout your child’s early
years. Some parents will have a rule that their children must try one bite of
every food being served. Other parents concentrate on providing a large variety
of tasty foods, hoping that their children will start to try new things. Either
route is a good idea, it really just depends on whether you are bothered by a
picky child. The other alternative is to wait it out, knowing that in most
cases, a picky child will grow up to be an adult who is willing to eat most foods.
17. How can I decide which vaccines my child should receive? In most cases, your child
should be immunized according to the American Academy of Pediatrics
immunization schedule, because this is the list of immunizations that most schools
require for admission. There are some cases where for medical or religious
reasons, a parent will decide not to immunize. But, honestly unless there is a
very good reason NOT to immunize, it is best to make sure that your child is protected.
18. How can I use revere psychology to make my child do what I want him
to? Some people believe that using
reverse psychology on a child is a control mechanism, and others consider it a
valuable method of persuasion. Either way, the idea behind reverse psychology is
to tell your child that you want him or her to do one thing, and expecting that
they will do exactly the opposite. This is useful when trying to get a young
child to eat, saying “don’t you DARE eat that corn!” will inevitably result in the
child eating the corn. Be careful when you try to use this technique with older
children, who are most likely well aware of what you are trying to do.
19. How can I help my teething child? Teething is one of those things
that most first- time parents fear. A teething child will spend time going back
and forth between cranky and miserable and this definitely takes a toll on both
the child and the parents. To ease the pain of teething, consider giving your
child a cold, wet washcloth to suck on. This will ease the pain and distract
the child. If your child is older than six months, you can consider giving
Children’s Tylenol or Children’s Motrin. Most pediatricians advise that you stay away from numbing
agents, which can reduce the suckling instinct and reduce the amount that your
child will eat while they are teething.
If your child is running a fever, or has a runny nose, it is probably a
sign that something else is happening because these are not signs of teething.
20. What should I do to teach my young child about money? Open a bank of your own! This
gives you the ability to teach your children about money management without
giving your child cash that they can spend frivolously or lose. The process is
simple. Set up a spreadsheet on your computer that will serve as the bank register.
Give your child an old checkbook, or make up some checks with the child’s name on
them. When your child wants spending money, they will ‘withdraw’ it from their account. At the
end of every week, you will ‘deposit’ your child’s allowance into the account
instead of handing the child cash that can be lost or misplaced. This is a great way to keep track of your
child’s spending habits and to ensure that your child isn’t losing money or spending it all on things that you would prefer
they didn’t have.
21. How can I stop struggling with my older child? Struggles of will are common
between parents and older children, who want independence and try to push
limits wherever they can. The key here is to pick the battles that you feel are
worth fighting. For example, if you are not willing to negotiate over your
child wearing a coat in the winter you need to make that perfectly clear. You might offer to negotiate over gloves and
other cold weather gear however. Never
give your child the option of not wearing a head covering to prevent the loss
of body heat! In some cases, such struggles become heated and emotional and
as a parent you need to keep your cool and be firm and consistent with your children.
22.
How can I set up successful
play dates for my child? Two’s company and three’s a crowd. This is important, and most parents do not realize this
until it happens in front of them. Young children already have some anxiety
over sharing their playthings, so it is better not to invite more than one
child over to play at a time. As your child gets older, it will be ok to
incorporate additional playmates in your play dates, but a toddler will
definitely enjoy their friends better one at a time. If you feel an inclination
to invite multiple kids, then do so in even numbers including your child. Two,
four or even six children at a time may be ok as long as each pair of kids
seems to form a common interest.
23. What should I do to encourage my child to read? Young children and babies need
to see and hear you reading to them from the very beginning so that they can
develop language skills. But, school aged children are less inclined to sit and
have you read a book to them. You will want to make sure that they are spending
time reading books however, because they need to practice reading to become
effective at it. Interact with your young children when reading to them. Have
them point out things in the book, or predict what will come next. When you
kids start reading chapter books that are short in length, read the book so
that you are prepared to ask them about what they are reading, and to determine
if they are getting a grasp on the content. Teach your children from a young
age that reading is enjoyable and fun and that there are books available on
every topic, so there is truly a book out there for everyone!
24.
How should I prepare my child
for first day of school anxiety? One of the best possible situations for a first day of
school is having your child walk into the room already knowing some of the
other students. You can call the school in advance and ask for the names and
phone numbers of other parents so that you can arrange a meeting between the
children prior to the start of classes. You can also help to reduce first day
anxiety by sending a special little note or sticker in your child’s lunch so that she knows you are thinking about her while she is
not at home.
25. How can I stay on top of trends? When it comes to fads and trends, the one
consistency is change. What your child is begging for one day, he will be
scoffing at the next. As a parent, you will need to make sure that your child
does not ‘fall behind the time’, while showing them that not every fad is worth following. It is
important to be clear with your reasons when you tell your child that they
cannot have a specific item. And, you need to make sure that you do allow your
child to follow some fads that don’t pose a significant problem.
Some parents will give in and allow their children to wear some of the more
questionable teen fashions, while other parents will give in on video game
trends. Still other parents will give their children the latest electronic
devices. Today’s big question is whether or
not children should have their own cell phones, a trend that is increasing
among pre-teens and teens alike. It’s a matter of personal choice – but you will need to instill
limits with your children right from the beginning.
26.
What should I do to get my
toddler to color inside the lines? The short answer is, you don’t. Children need to feel free to express their creativity, and for
younger children this often means coloring outside the lines and scribbling.
Never criticize your young Picasso when he or she doesn’t do a perfect coloring job, because in most cases they are doing
the best job they can! Instead hang their artwork on the refrigerator or frame
it to give them a sense of accomplishment. Fine motor skill development takes
several years, and it is literally impossible for most children to control
their crayons to the point where they color like an expert. So, be patient and
your child will soon be creating masterpieces!
27. How can I throw a successful birthday party for my young child? Young children function best in
small groups. Therefore you should invite only a few children to attend a party
in your child’s honor. After all, until your
child is of school age the party is really for you and your family! A party for
a young child should last only an hour or two, so that the children do not
become restless, tired and develop separation anxiety. Serve healthy snacks and
plan activities to keep the kids busy for most of the party time. Always enlist help, because young children
need to be supervised and you will appreciate the adult companionship as well!
28.
How can I get my shy child to
interact with other kids? In some cases, a shy child will outgrow their shyness as they get
older. However, with most shy children there will always be a high degree of
sensitivity that needs to be respected and recognized. Putting a shy child into
a preschool program might help to get them out of their shell
– but try to avoid putting your younger child into
organized activities with the hope of drawing them into the social scene. This
can cause more anxiety than anything.
Introduce your child to new activities and people
slowly and always talk to the child before putting him or her into a new
situation.
29. How can I teach my child what to do in case of fire? Fire safety is one of the most
important things that a child should learn from a young age. The first thing to
tell your child is “stop, drop and roll”. This mantra will stick with them throughout their lifetime.
Second, you should teach your child that if there is a fire they need to get
the attention of ANY adult by yelling “Fire” and not “Help”. Finally, teach them to get
outside and to run to a neighbor’s home to call 911. Arranging a
meeting place where you can check to see that all family members got to safety.
30.
How can I teach my child what
to do in an emergency? Teaching your young child to dial 911, and explaining repeatedly
that the number is only for use in a serious emergency is a good start. Older
children will understand that they should only call 911 if their parent is
unconscious or they are alone in the home. In addition to knowing how to call
911, even young children should learn their home address and phone number along
with the full names of their parents. Remind your child that staying calm in an
emergency is the most effective way to make clear judgments, but keep your own
expectations realistic and know that children will panic. If you are leaving
your child alone for an extended period of time, ask a trusted adult to check in
on them occasionally.
31. What should I do to keep my child safe around water? All children need to know about
the dangers of water and drowning. If
you have a backyard swimming pool, put up a fence and raise the ladder if
possible. A pool alarm is inexpensive and takes only a few minutes to install.
Never allow your child to swim, or be near water, alone and be sure to teach
them about the buddy system. These are lessons that will stick with them
through their life and allow them to always be safe around water. Finally,
enroll your child in swimming lessons. Neighborhood pools and schools often
provide these. Knowing how to swim is the best defense against drowning or
being injured in the water.
32. How can I keep my child safe around a hot tub? More and more families are
installing hot tubs in and around their homes. Because of the shallow depth,
many people overlook the importance of covers. Don’t make this mistake. Use a
cover with a lock every time you get out of the hot tub. When children use the
hot tub, it is important to let them in the water for only a few moments at a
time, because the elevated water temperature can be dangerous for young bodies
and lead to burns or dehydration. As with all dangerous household items, keep
your hot tub chemicals under lock and key, because they can be very harmful if
ingested or spilled.
33.
How can I keep my child safe on
the playground? Never
allow your child to use playground equipment that is in need of repair. And,
unless the equipment is placed on a base of mulch or rubber padding of at least
12 inches there is a significant risk of injury resulting from falls. Never
leave your child alone at the playground, because if they should become injured
you need to be there to assist them. Teach your child that pushing other children
on the equipment is absolutely unacceptable, and do not allow other children to
push your child either.
34. How can I keep my child safe when playing inside? You should never allow your
child to run in the house because injuries can occur due to stairs and falls.
And many parents have made a clear distinction between indoor and outdoor toys
in order to avoid children throwing balls and other objects in the house. If
you allow your child
to play hide and seek inside of the house, make sure that
they understand that freezers and refrigerators are off limits, along with
other potentially hazardous locations such as storage closets that are used for
chemicals or cleaning products. Have plenty of indoor friendly toys, games and
activities available for young children in order to keep them safe inside your home.
35.
What should I do to keep my
child safe from poisons? The first rule of thumb for parents is to keep cleaning products
and other chemicals out of the reach of children. This may be on a high shelf
or in a locked cupboard. It also means not using your medicine cabinet for
medication storage. Keep medications out of the view and reach of children at
all times. Have the poison control number handy by every phone in the house in
case of accidental ingestion, and never induce vomiting until you have spoken
with a professional.
36. How can I keep my child safe when there are firearms in the home? The best option is simply to
not have firearms in the home. But, if you must have them you should always
keep them in a locked cabinet. Keep ammunition locked in a different location
and NEVER tell your child where it is kept. Teach your children about firearms,
and the dangers that they pose. Be honest with your child, because curiosity
results in more firearms injuries than anything else. Toy guns are a bad idea,
and if your child asks for a BB gun, dart gun or other firearm toy – tell them no.
37. What can I do to teach my child to leave houseplants alone? There are many varieties of
houseplants that are poisonous to children and animals, so be aware of what
types of plants you are growing in your home. If you know that a specific plant
is dangerous, keep it well out of the reach of your child. Knowing what is
growing in your home is important, because if your child should eat a piece of
your plant and become ill – you will need to tell the poison control center or
pediatrician exactly what the child ate that made them ill.
38.
How will I know when it’s time to move my toddler out of his crib? Once they reach 30 inches tall,
children should be moved out of their crib and into a bed. This is a safety
concern, because taller children are prone to falling over the edge of crib
rails. If you are worried that your child will fall out of a bed, use a
guardrail. There are many options available, and the best is a rail that slides
between the mattress and box spring for stabilization. Another option is a
toddler bed, which places your child just a few inches off of the floor.
39. How would I know if my home contained lead paint? Any home that was built before
1978 could potentially contain lead based paint. Intact paint that is not
peeling in any location is most likely not a hazard, however if your home is
older and has peeling walls you will need to be aware of the dangers of lead
poisoning. If you suspect that your home contains lead-based paint, you can
request that a certified lead inspector perform tests to determine whether
there is lead present and give you advice on what you need to do in order to
keep your child safe.
40. How can I prevent staircase injuries? The best way to prevent your
child from falling down stairs is to keep them away from the top. You should
have a door, or locking gate in place on all staircases when your child is
young. Teach your child to navigate stairs correctly as soon as he or she is
crawling in order to make sure that they know how to go up and down should they
find themselves on the stairs. Don’t allow your children of any
age to run in the house, otherwise an accidental stair fall could result.
41. How can I celebrate the successes of parenthood? Many parents do not take the
time to celebrate the things that they are doing right as parents. This is
important, because everyone needs to be recognized. Take a few minutes to look
in the mirror and reflect on how far you have come with your children. And,
thank yourself for a job well done, because no one benefits from well-raised
children as much as the parents.
42. How can I become comfortable using a babysitter? First-time parents particularly
become uncomfortable at the mention of the word. However, everyone needs an
occasional break from parenthood and babysitters are often necessary to make it
happen! Ask for recommendations from friends and neighbors and even your
church, and feel confident knowing that if someone else is willing to entrust
their children’s welfare to a babysitter – you can too. Start small,
using a new babysitter for an hour while you run to the grocery store. Increase
the time that you will be away gradually and watch how your children interact
with the sitter. Over time, you will become more comfortable leaving your
children with a babysitter.
43. How do I decide whether to let my child sleep with me? The decision of whether or not
to allow a child into the parental bed for night-time sleeping is a completely
individual decision. Just know that once you begin to allow your child into
your bed, they will be much less inclined to fall asleep on their own.
Therefore, decide early whether you are willing to sleep with your child every
night. Some parents have discovered that infants in the parental bed make
nighttime feedings easier. However, others have determined that putting the
infant’s bassinet near the parents’ bed has the same effect.
44. What are some ways I can make my child’s room enjoyable for me? Many new parents forget that they will be spending a
lot of time in their infant’s room. Therefore, decorate the
room for your tastes and with a décor that is welcoming to you.
If you place a comfortable rocker with soft pillows and a warm blanket in the
room, you will find it a lot more enjoyable than if it contains only a crib and
dresser. Realize that you will spend time in this room when changing your baby,
putting him or her to sleep and even when he or she is sick.
45. How can I teach my child to be a good sport? Nobody likes a sore loser. The
best way to teach a child to be a good sport is to practice good sportsmanship
yourself. If you are overly competitive, your child will pick up on this and
emulate your behavior. If your child is going to play organized sports, be
realistic about your expectations
and never yell or scream at an official that you think
was unfair to your child. Be consistent. If you see your child do something
that is not sportsmanlike – correct the behavior and discuss it with your child
after the game or activity has ended.
46. How can I stop my child from being unsportsmanlike? If you see your child acting in
an unsportsmanlike way on or off the field, it is important to point out the
behavior and ask your child point-blank why it is that they would behave in
such a way. When the child gives you the reason for their behavior, be understanding
and listen. Keep an open mind also, because sometimes what seems like an
unsportsmanlike behavior may actually be a reaction to another behavior that
you missed. For example, your child may shove another child in order to get the
other child to stop kicking him or her. Keep the lines of communication open,
and make your expectations perfectly clear to your child.
47. What are some ways I can play with an uninterested child? Some young children, from the
time of infancy, prefer little to no interaction and stimulation from their
parents and siblings. It is important to never give up and start ignoring the
child, because children crave and need attention regardless of how they
react. Find out what it is that your
child likes, and share those things with the child. If your quiet child prefers
to read alone – then read right along with them in your own book. Finding
experiences for bonding on the child’s terms will help to open the
child up to being able to participate in other forms of interaction.
48. What are some ways to get my child to stop being a sore loser? If your child is a sore loser,
then you need to talk to the child and make your expectations known. After
talking to the child, if the behavior doesn’t stop, you will need to remove
them from situations of competition until they are confident that they can stop
being a sore loser. You need to appreciate and recognize your child’s sense of disappointment – however it is critical that
you teach the child that acting out in response is not acceptable behavior.
49.
How should I handle sibling
rivalry? There
is nothing more irritating to a parent than sibling squabbles. This is
particularly true when there is a sibling rivalry. Competition between siblings
is healthy if and only if the children are equally matched against one another
in sports or activities where they have similar interest and ability. And, you
need to make it clear that such competition is only acceptable as long as there
is not an end result of fighting. It is important to recognize the emotions
behind sibling rivalries, but you should never take sides.
50.
How can I keep my older child
from pushing my buttons? Pre-teens and teens love to make their parents angry, or so it
seems. The best defense against your child’s attempts to get you upset is
to remain totally calm in the face of an argument. Do not let your child
maintain control over your emotions or a situation, otherwise you will find
yourself on the losing end of a lifetime battle. If your child argues with you,
simply respond by stating your opinions on a situation and implement punishments
that are much less enjoyable than the excitement of you
losing your temper. This is the only way to stop you child from pushing your
buttons just to get a reaction.
51. How can I understand why my child loves to argue with me? Children like power. Arguing
gives them a sense of power, particularly when you react instead of respond.
One of the most important things to any older child is proving that he or she
is right – and that everyone else is wrong. You will never win a power struggle
with a child – so don’t allow a power struggle to
evolve in the first place. When your child starts to argue, state your response
ONCE and walk away. If you need to repeat what you said more than one time, be
prepared with consequences.
52.
How can I handle a child who
demands my complete attention? Children like to control people and situations. That is
their nature. If your child demands your complete attention during waking
hours, you need to encourage independent activities and wean your child off of
your constant attention. Do not give in to tantrums, which are nothing more
than a way to get your attention. And remember that negative attention is still
attention, which is what the child wants. Learn to walk away after a response
and don’t set your self up for a situation where you
need to go on and on with explanations of why you need to do something other
than what your child wants you to do at a particular moment.
53. How can I get my children to actually USE table manners? Table manners are one of those
pet peeves that all parents have and only some find the energy to enforce. Some
simple rules to use from early childhood include not eating until everyone at
the table is seated and served, and not interrupting when another family member
is speaking. Be sure to insist that your child say please and thank you, and
always stop inappropriate dinner conversations as soon as they start. These are
some simple things that you can impart on your children so that in the future
when they are dining with others, you can feel confident that they will be on
their best mealtime behavior.
54. What should I do to teach my children phone etiquette? Telephone etiquette is a must.
In order to teach your child to use proper phone etiquette, you must use it
yourself. A young child will imitate mom and dad when answering the telephone
and taking messages. When you answer the phone and take a message, ask ‘who’s calling please’ and then immediately grab a notepad and pen to write down the
message. Designate a message area, and show your child that you put messages in
this spot for the recipient. Your children will imitate your behavior, but it
is a good idea to reinforce these ideas by correcting your child when he or she
does not take a message and simply hangs up. It will take a few years for your
child to develop good phone manners, but unless you want to miss important
messages in the future it is worth taking the time to make your expectations clear.
55. How can I develop a stronger bond with my child? The answer is simple; spend
more time with your child! An idea that you might want to try is cooking with
your child one night every week, trying new recipes that are kid friendly and
fun to make.
You might also want to consider having a game night
very week, or going to the library together to get some fun books you will both
enjoy.
56. How can I raise a well-behaved child? The most important role model
that your child will ever have is you. If you want your child to behave, then
you need to pay attention to what you do and say in front of your children. For
example, if you would prefer that your child use correct English instead of
street slag – don’t use street slang in front of
your children. If you expect your child to be properly dressed, you also need
to be properly dressed. And, if you want your child to learn to control his or
her temper – then you also need to control your temper. Your child is watching
and learning.
57.
How can I make
sure I’m raising a
child who goes after what he wants? Encourage your child to explore and to
expand his horizons at every opportunity. This does not mean putting your child
into dangerous situations, rather it means putting your child into safe
situations where he may sometimes feel intimidated. Encourage your child by
offering positive feedback and more encouragement! Children who learn to test
their surroundings and push their limits will become more well rounded adults.
58. How can I raise a child who follows the rules? Rules come in all shapes and
sizes throughout the course of our lives. Therefore, it is very important to
teach your children from a young age that it is important to follow rules. A
good way to dissuade your child from following rules is to constantly break and
complain about rules in front of them. If you want to raise your child to
follow the rules you need to be their number one role model. This may mean
stopping for more stop signs – but remember that when your child starts driving
they will still be paying more attention to what you DO than what you SAY.
59.
What are some ways to make sure
that my child feels loved? Positive feedback and encouragement are the two biggest tools that
a parent can use to make sure that their child feels loved. Always offer your child kind words of
appreciation and thanks when they do something that makes you happy or proud.
When your child is misbehaving, and you need to criticize a behavior, make sure
that you explain that it’s not the child that you
dislike – it
is the behavior. Telling your child that you believe in them and support their
decisions is a very strong way to get the point across!
60.
How can I put my family first? There is a difference between
playing chauffeur and spending quality time with your family. You need to set
up times when you can interact with your entire family, as well as individual
family members. As a parent, know that it is not healthy to schedule your life
100% around the activities and schedules of your children. You cannot meet
everyone’s expectations every day, and sometimes you will
need to disappoint one family member in order to put the interests of the
entire family first.
61. How can I get my child to sleep and keep him asleep? Make sure that when you put
your child to bed that they are comfortable.
Sleep clothes should be a comfortable weight and loose fitting so that
your child is not bothered by pajamas that do not feel quite right. Keep your
child’s room dark at night. Nightlights are a convenience
item that can unfortunately also keep your child awake or even frighten him in
the middle of the night. You are better off not offering a security item like a
pacifier, baby bottle or blanket to a young child because the attachment that
develops is very hard to break when your child gets older. Make sure that with
young children especially, you keep the bedroom for sleeping. This will help
your child to make a connection between his room and sleep.
62. How can I tell why my infant is crying? Figuring out what your baby is
trying to communicate to you is almost as difficult as learning a second
language! But, once you do learn what your baby is telling you, you will be
relieved that you finally understand what he needs. Infants generally cry for
only a few reasons: hunger, sleepiness, boredom and physical discomfort. A good
way to start decoding what your infant is telling you is to start changing things
until the crying stops. Pick your baby up, and if he continues to cry check his
diaper. If the diaper is dry, offer some food, etc. You will know when you have
figured out a particular cry, because the results will be consistent with most children.
62. What are some ways to calm a crying baby? The first step is to make sure
all of her basic needs are taken care of. That she’s not wet, hungry, tired, overstimulated, lonely, cold or hot. If
addressing these issues does not calm her down then there are a few techniques
you can try. Some popular methods include singing softly, “shushing” loudly in baby’s ear and rocking from side to side vigorously. You can also try
this trick – but NEVER leave your infant unattended – put the child in his car seat
and place the car seat on top of a running clothes dryer. The vibration and
white noise can have an excellent calming effect. Calming a crying baby often
takes some trial and error. But remain confident in your parenting abilities
and keep your cool. Once you figure out what works well for your little one,
you’ll be better equipped for future crying fits.
63. How can I help my baby when he is fussy? One of the most common reasons
for fussiness is gas pain. To help calm your child, and to relieve the gas
pains that are causing the fussiness, you can place him on his back and gently
move his legs as though he’s peddling a bicycle. If this
doesn’t work, you might want to talk to your child’s pediatrician, who may recommend gas drops or even a prescription,
which will help to eliminate gassiness.
64.
What are some ways to have fun
with my young child? Infants
and toddlers love to spend time with their parents. And they’re happy doing just about anything! However, parents often find
themselves wondering what activities they can do with their young child. One
fun idea is to make some popcorn, pull out some fuzzy blankets and enjoy a
movie or book together cuddled on the sofa. Do a craft together such as a
simple coloring or painting project or buy stickers and create some
interesting gifts. Dancing is always a hit with kids
and a great way to burn off some energy while you get lots of laughs. You can
also play simple games like eye spy. The beauty of these games is that they can
be adapted for younger children and they can be played anywhere.
65. How can I stay involved with my child’s education? School is where your child will spend the majority of his time
during the most formative years of his life. Therefore, it’s extremely important to stay in contact with the teachers and
administrator’s to keep track of how your
child is performing. You need to be concerned with more than the grades on
report cards and exams. You should also ask questions about how well your child
interacts with other students and the teachers. Being there is the best way to
see exactly what is going on. Whenever possible, you or your spouse should
volunteer to help in the classroom or chaperone special events and field trips.
66.
How should I plan for the costs
of raising a child? Many
new parents or expectant parents will meet with a financial planner to discuss
their financial situation and plans for the future. This often includes setting
up an education fund and even a separate savings account to put away a little
money each month to help offset unexpected expenses. When it comes to
estimating the amount you’ll spend on your child you
should budget for healthcare, clothing, diapers, formula (if you choose to
formula feed), childcare and the purchase of any items you need such as a
carseat, crib, playpen, highchair or baby swing. If money is tight consider
borrowing items from friends or buying them second hand. And ask around about
assistance programs in your community that help families with young children.
67. How do I know when to give my child cold medicine? The answer to this question
depends on the age, weight and symptoms of your child. If your child is very
young you should never give him medication until you have spoken with his
pediatrician. For toddlers and older children cold medications can be a good
way to provide relief of symptoms such as coughing and congestion and allow
them to sleep better. Look for "children's versions" of the same cold
medication you use and be sure to follow the directions exactly, being careful
not to give more than the recommended dose.
69. How do I know when to take my child to the emergency room? Go with your gut instinct. If
you suspect that your child is experiencing a medical emergency that requires
immediate treatment, take the child to the nearest emergency room. If you have
doubts about whether to go to the emergency room and can reach your child's
pediatrician first then contact him or her for help determining the best
solution is for this particular medical problem. But never wait if something
doesn't feel right. Some medical conditions can worsen rapidly and it's not
worth the risk.
70. When should I start giving my child an allowance? A good rule of thumb is that
when your child starts asking for money to buy items, they are ready to start
receiving an allowance. Giving your child money of their own can be a great way
to teach her
child about the value and responsibility of money. When
establishing an allowance system with younger children, consider keeping the
money until your child needs it for something. This will alleviate a lot of
frivolous spending, and guarantee that your child will not lose her money.
71.
How can I determine whether to
teach my child a second language? Learning another language is a great enrichment
activity for children. And they're such little sponges that you will be amazed
at how quickly they pick it up! It can even be a great family activity to learn
a new language together. Even if your child never uses the second language, the
logic skills associated with language development will be helpful and useful to
your child for many years to come.
72. How can I raise my child to be successful? One of the most important
things to keep in mind is that how you define success may not be what how your
child defines it. Accepting this is the first step in being able to accept
whatever path he chooses in life. That said, there are things you can do to
encourage your child to aspire to do important things with his life. The
absolute best way to increase your child’s chances of success is to be
involved. From a very early age, know what is going on with his education,
extra-curricular activities, hobbies and social activities. Guide him to make
choices that will broaden his horizons and open doors for him in the future. As
he gets older, keep the lines of communication open so he sees you as someone
who can be used as a source of good advice or as a sounding board. Remember, as
a parent you play a key role in the type of person your child becomes.
73. How do I teach my child to donate to charity? A good way to show your child
the importance of donating to charity is to start them in the habit early! What
some parents will do is to give their child a weekly allowance that is to be
split between three jars. One is for spending, one is for saving and the third
is money that will be given to a charity of your child’s choosing.
74. How can I keep my child safe online? The first rule is to never
leave your child unattended online. If you allow your child to be online
without constant supervision, you should consider installing parental block
software and possibly ensuring that your child is not using instant messenger -
or at least restricting the use of instant messenger to only those friends whom
you have met. And be sure to talk to your child about Internet safety and the
dangers that exist.
75. Where can I get help for problems with a special needs child? Ask your pediatrician for
recommendations about resources, support groups and possibly even the name and
phone number of someone else with a special needs child. You can never have too
many resources, and there is help out there if you are willing to take the time
to ask and to look for it.
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Keywords:
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promoting physical activity in children
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importance of family time and traditions
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